A fab first year…

1 Feb

I can’t believe my little baby boy is going to be one year tomorrow. What a difference a year makes. This time last year, I was mid labour and carb loading in the Pizza Express next to the hospital, taking mouthfuls between painful contractions. I then went for a wonder up and down Kings Road – stopping every five minutes to ride out another painful contraction. I must have looked ridiculous, but my little shopping trip ended in an investment in new make-up, which I really, really required the next day.

At 3.03am the following day (02.02.2010) Toby Adrian Fry was born. My immediate thought was ‘he looks nothing like me’. I quickly found myself worried that I’d not felt the ‘rush of love’ women talk about immediately after birth. WHERE WAS IT? I was exhausted and felt a bit numb, emotionally. It is worth pointing out here that if you do not feel this wonderful rush of love everyone bangs on about, it doesn’t mean you’re a psychopath. It probably just means you’re beyond exhaustion and comprehension of what has just happened to you. I actually think, the Love starts before birth and it’ll never go away. There are a lot of things you are told about childbirth and the settling in after it, that just aren’t practical. Everyone is different.

A whole year later and I’ve still not had a decent nights sleep, got back down to the same weight or had a whole day to myself, but Toby is worth every agonising sleepless night and every grey hair that has appeared since his arrival.

He’s changed my life. I can’t remember a time without him. Though I do know that now is a better time. I’d quite happily skip sleep for the rest of my life if it made him happy (though ask me about this at 3am in the morning and you might get a different response). He’s my little friend, my shining light in gloomy London. Thoughts of cuddling up with him to read a good story and have a hot bottle/mug of milk before bedtime get me through the day. He’s pretty much my whole reason for being now. When I’m not with him, I miss him more than I thought would be possible (though it is nice to go to the loo alone).

Thanks for a fab first year little guy.

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